- Do not be the first and only person to "like" your own status update.
Unless you routinely pleasure yourself in public. Then it's okay, because you "liking yourself" is just part of who you are. And that's okay.
Keep it real B-Real.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Online Voyeurism
Rule #1 of Facebook Status Updates
- Do not be the first and only person to "like" your own status update.
Unless you routinely pleasure yourself in public. Then it's okay, because you "liking yourself" is just part of who you are. And that's okay.
Keep it real B-Real.
- Do not be the first and only person to "like" your own status update.
Unless you routinely pleasure yourself in public. Then it's okay, because you "liking yourself" is just part of who you are. And that's okay.
Keep it real B-Real.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
What's her name?
Conversation between two guys who just recently bought new (black) crossovers/SUVs:
Friend: You get it?
Me: Who? Venus williams?
Friend: Yea, the car
Friend: hahaha, you damn biter!
Me: Some might think she's cute, but she's black and kind of manly
Friend: Yea, Serena is more buff.
Friend: You can't name her Serena anyways, cuz I named my car Serena
Friend: After Serena williams. I'm serious
Friend: w/ her muscular lines
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Model Behavior
Guy friend: You're so model-like.
Me: What? You totally just made my day!! :D
Guy friend: Huh? I was just saying you exercise a lot, work a lot, don't eat fast food, and don't eat after 9pm.
Me: Oh...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Al Davis remembered ...
In honor of the great Al Davis:
Did you know ...
Al Davis was best known for coining the phrase "Just win baby" but did you also know that he coined the phrase "Do your job"? If you watch the NFL Films special that follows Bill Bellichek around, you'll hear him saying this phrase over and over. He picked it up from his time coaching with Bill Parcells ... who just happened to learn this from Al Davis when he worked with him (learned this from Peter King's article on si.com)
Al would be proud ...
We all know soccer players are known for taking dives. Hardcore fans argue "it's part of the game" and players say they are "just trying to win". Combine Al Davis's "just win baby" phrase with the soccer player mentality of "just trying to win" and this is what you get:
My silly prediction?
The Raiders vs 49ers in the Super Bowl with the Raiders winning
Did you know ...
Al Davis was best known for coining the phrase "Just win baby" but did you also know that he coined the phrase "Do your job"? If you watch the NFL Films special that follows Bill Bellichek around, you'll hear him saying this phrase over and over. He picked it up from his time coaching with Bill Parcells ... who just happened to learn this from Al Davis when he worked with him (learned this from Peter King's article on si.com)
Al would be proud ...
We all know soccer players are known for taking dives. Hardcore fans argue "it's part of the game" and players say they are "just trying to win". Combine Al Davis's "just win baby" phrase with the soccer player mentality of "just trying to win" and this is what you get:
My silly prediction?
The Raiders vs 49ers in the Super Bowl with the Raiders winning
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Real Motherf***ing G's
Hello Consumer Reports,
I just spent $14 on the CR Car Pricing Service, and upon review of the report, realized I just wasted $14 on a report that has provided zero value to me.
All the "information" that was provided in the report can be easily found at edmunds.com and/or truecar.com.
For an organization that is supposed to be helping customers get the best deal, I definitely feel like I just got ripped off.
If there was a way to undo this previous purchase and/or get a refund, I would most certainly jump on the opportunity.
Sincerely,
Your Nutz
***** In the words of the late Eazy-E *****
Motherf*** Dre
Motherf***' Snoop
Mother*** Death Row (and ConsumerReports)
Now here come my left blow
Yummy
GUY: have you ever eaten a vodka gummy bear?
ME: no. gimmie
GUY: i am going to make my own this weekend.
[convo goes on about Grey vs Kettle, sour vs plain...]
ME: wait, you know how to make gummi bears?!?!!
GUY: i do!!!! a big one. that is what i call my poopy
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Godspeed to a true visionary of our time. Mr Job's innovation & creativity in both a marketing and business helped Apple skyrocket from $10 to $400+ per share. There may only be one Bill Gates, but there was also one Steve Jobs.
**Part 2**
Funny conversation between a Mac and a PC
I'm a Mac: you know why jobs died today right?
I'm a PC: yeah i saw
I'm a Mac: but you know why he died TODAY
I'm a PC: no
I'm a Mac: that shitty iphone 4S announcement killed him
**Part 3**
Some websites tried to update their web pages with news of Steve Jobs. Take a look at the newspaper near Apple headquarters ... great example of FAIL!
(Pic submitted by "I'm a Mac")
**Part 2**
Funny conversation between a Mac and a PC
I'm a Mac: you know why jobs died today right?
I'm a PC: yeah i saw
I'm a Mac: but you know why he died TODAY
I'm a PC: no
I'm a Mac: that shitty iphone 4S announcement killed him
**Part 3**
Some websites tried to update their web pages with news of Steve Jobs. Take a look at the newspaper near Apple headquarters ... great example of FAIL!
(Pic submitted by "I'm a Mac")
What NOT to do on a first (play) date
Text Exchange (~40 minutes after dropping dog off for an all-day play-date)
Play-date Coordinator: Dude John Dog* has peed twice on the carpet and pooped under my table.
Ooops: He already peed/pood this morning.
Play-date Coordinator: It was definitely John Dog, we made eye contact while I yelled, "noooooo" and it oozed out of his butt.
*Name has been changed to protect identify and allow for possible future invites (to other unsuspecting play-date coordinators)
Play-date Coordinator: Dude John Dog* has peed twice on the carpet and pooped under my table.
Ooops: He already peed/pood this morning.
Play-date Coordinator: It was definitely John Dog, we made eye contact while I yelled, "noooooo" and it oozed out of his butt.
*Name has been changed to protect identify and allow for possible future invites (to other unsuspecting play-date coordinators)
Meaty Goodness
Overheard at shabu shabu dinner:
GUY: want more of my meat?
GIRL: No, I already have so much in my mouth.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Happy Monday MoFos
So...
Had a fantastic FF weekend.
The League season premiere is this Thursday.
And I'm back at work.
My current desktop background serves multiple purposes for this rant.
1. Sometimes my computer makes me extremely angry (e.g., PPT, Excel "Not Responding" and subsequent loss of extensive amount of work)
2. Sometimes the people I correspond to make me extremely angry (e.g., email, IMing, personal and professional)
3. Sometimes I'm just angry for no apparent reason.
Tangent.
How can people deal with desktops COMPLETELY filled with icons/shortcuts? Yes, occasionally I'll post files on my desktop, but I do regular cleanses (as you see above). But I see WAY too many computers where it looks like your documents folder had too much to drink and puked all over your desktop. Disgusting. Clean your ish up. Especially when you do a ton of presentations for work. And if it's your home computer. There is even less excuse.
Tangent.
I need a smaller, fancier desk at home. Due to the configuration of our place, my current mammoth IKEA desk prevents us from being adults and having a dining room table... my inversion table is a secondary obstacle. A nice glass one would be... nice.
Tangent.
B&H Photo Video is offering half off Lightroom 3. Pretty good deal. Is 31 years old too early to buy your first officially-licensed (non-game) computer software? I have... 20 hours to decide.
Tangent.
Sometimes I feel like business casual was created to keep a brother like me down. I like to dress the part, and I feel like the part dresses me. When I wear a suit a tie, I tend to act a little more mature, talk a little more mature, even walk with a little bit of a strut... unless it's open bar at a wedding.
But this whole business casual thing, where you can wear anything jeans and a polo shirt to work (or even a t-shirt on Fridays)... well, that just messes me up. If I'm going to dress casual, I will then act casual... and that, my friends, just gets me on a daily slippery slope down heal to poor, non-ergonomic postures, excessive inefficiencies at work, and non-optimal performance reviews.
Tangent.
$5 Regular Footlongs at Subway all month.
Eat Fresh my friends.
Had a fantastic FF weekend.
The League season premiere is this Thursday.
And I'm back at work.
My current desktop background serves multiple purposes for this rant.
1. Sometimes my computer makes me extremely angry (e.g., PPT, Excel "Not Responding" and subsequent loss of extensive amount of work)
2. Sometimes the people I correspond to make me extremely angry (e.g., email, IMing, personal and professional)
3. Sometimes I'm just angry for no apparent reason.
Tangent.
How can people deal with desktops COMPLETELY filled with icons/shortcuts? Yes, occasionally I'll post files on my desktop, but I do regular cleanses (as you see above). But I see WAY too many computers where it looks like your documents folder had too much to drink and puked all over your desktop. Disgusting. Clean your ish up. Especially when you do a ton of presentations for work. And if it's your home computer. There is even less excuse.
Tangent.
I need a smaller, fancier desk at home. Due to the configuration of our place, my current mammoth IKEA desk prevents us from being adults and having a dining room table... my inversion table is a secondary obstacle. A nice glass one would be... nice.
Tangent.
B&H Photo Video is offering half off Lightroom 3. Pretty good deal. Is 31 years old too early to buy your first officially-licensed (non-game) computer software? I have... 20 hours to decide.
Tangent.
Sometimes I feel like business casual was created to keep a brother like me down. I like to dress the part, and I feel like the part dresses me. When I wear a suit a tie, I tend to act a little more mature, talk a little more mature, even walk with a little bit of a strut... unless it's open bar at a wedding.
But this whole business casual thing, where you can wear anything jeans and a polo shirt to work (or even a t-shirt on Fridays)... well, that just messes me up. If I'm going to dress casual, I will then act casual... and that, my friends, just gets me on a daily slippery slope down heal to poor, non-ergonomic postures, excessive inefficiencies at work, and non-optimal performance reviews.
Tangent.
$5 Regular Footlongs at Subway all month.
Eat Fresh my friends.
Cray Cray!
A pirate walks into a bar, and he's got a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender sees him and asks, "Hey, what's that steering wheel doing there?" The pirate says, "Aaarrrr, it's driving me nuts."
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Geek Chic
What's up with people trying to DRESS like a "geek" nowadays with the Wayfarer glasses (nonprescriptioned), bow ties, suspenders, you name it? While I understand a person may want to be an intellectually stimulating and computer savvy math genius, the truth is the duds don't make the studs. So stop faking it, you posers!
(:p)
(:p)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)